Protected: please forgive me if I act a little strange, for I know not what I do..

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And it’s all right, yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry about this heart of mine…

So, this is my last public entery…everything from here on is friends only.

To a new begining…a new try…

and a music montage…

Beautiful/From the Orginal:

The New/Moving Forward:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3YlV-NEsYkA

comment if you want to be added…

Thus, Thus, Thus every happy happy living thing, revels in the cheerful spring..

So I think that I might just be going crazy. Or being driven there.

Is crazy a destination?

Should it be “You are driving me to crazy” instead of “You’re driving me crazy” ?

I just in vision someone stuck in the back of a giant SUV, stuck in their seatbelt, passing a green highway sign that says: CRAZY 200…

Anyways, I just took and Art History test which I probably bombed, and now I am waiting around for Biology Lab, which is possibly the longest class known to man. Then I have to memorize a scene, which I could be doing now, but instead, I choose to indulge in some emotional extrication.

This weekend was fine. Sunday was ridiculous. An emotional rollercoaster as usual. I firmly believe in male PMS, more so than female, and they have the blood to prove it.

We were fine, and then we weren’t. We were fine, and then we weren’t. The day was wonderful but ended horribly.

Why? Many reasons:

1. Justin cannot handle being the bad guy. It is not within him. I guess that I spent so much of our relationship being the bad guy that he never embraced the idea that he might be at some point. And now that he is, he realizes how much it blows, so he keeps pulling my faults out, or my misgivings in order to distract. However, I am still so hurt by him hitting me, I just….don’t care. And I don’t feel like that’s my fault
2. Because he hit me, I am a whole lot more distant, which he cannot handle. Usually I am really affectionate, now I am just…not. Which is exactly how I got when I broke up with him, so he is assuming the same is coming. Thus, he picks more fights in a effort to get it over with.
3. We can just be toxic for each other, without even trying to be.

I feel alone and I am with someone. That’s not supposed to happen. Everytime I have gotten with someone else though, I have suddenly realized I have wanted to be with him and how much I love him.

But I would kinda just rather be with my friends. I am the most co-dependent person in the world. I always, always, always have had a boyfriend because I don’t know how to be alone or not with someone.

I think I am ready to learn.

the broken hearted, battle scared, I’ll be by your side…

fuck you and your untouchable face…

This is fucking rediculous.

let it be.

If you feel so bad, like you claim you do, then you should have really thought through your actions before doing them.

What done is done. Life is conseqnetial.

Just let it fucking be.

The distance and gap grows each day not because I am moving away, but because you are driving me away.

Send me cute “I love you”s

Smile on the phone.

Hug me when you see me, and kiss me like it will never happen again.

Just love me, and we will be ok.

BUT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT OR I WILL GO INSANE, AND I’M PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE!

Cheat on you? no, sweetheart, I wouldn’t even give you that. Then suddenly I’m the doochebag. It’d be convienient.

You have fucked me too hard.

You get to sit and exprince your actions just like I get to sit and exprince your actions.