So it’s been a while since I have posted, so I feel like it was time.
I am in Richmond. It’s currently 3 A.M. and I can’t sleep.
I am living with Nick and I like it a lot. We kinda jumped right back into it. It’s really nice to have my best friend back.
I am working as waiter at Blackfinn Restaurant and Saloon and I love it which scares me. Because it gives me such a lack of desire to go back to school…but we’ll see. I would love to just put away like 3 grand then sell all of my shit minus like a carry on bag and move to England or Amsterdam or some where just different.
I find myself missing Cherokee. I mean, I knew that I would miss the people, but I actually miss Rez…more so the mountains and the quite than anything else.
And I find myself missing Justin, which is retarded. I am not going to allow myself to start the whole, “Well…it works…kinda…so let’s do it” cycle again. However, I do wish he would give me like 15 minutes on the phone to know how he’s doing and honestly, if I don’t get a “happy birthday” text or call, I’ll be pretty hurt. Not that he’ll care. One of the less desirable qualities of Justin is that when he is hurt by you emotionally or he doesn’t feel like he is getting more than his fair share of you, he’s a total douche bag. Ask me, Jackie…there is actually quite a list.
Correction, he likes to act like a total douche bag. He can’t really do it, but it makes him feel like a bad ass. Hahah I will forever be Brian and he, my Justin.
I don’t know that we ever get over a person. We might move on, and become capable of having another relationship, perhaps a more meaningful one, but get over? That’s a strong way of putting it.
At the same time, I have to swear off so many things to stop thinking about him and us… Alanis, which is fine, ramen, the shitty stove in my kitchen, Harrison St., The Village, Mojos, Six Feet Under.. the list goes on.
And the fucker still has my orange hoodie. Which sucks. Cause it’s cold.
But at the same time, I feel moved on enough, between the space from him and Sean to really pursue something with someone. I am gonna be ridiculously picky, starting with not a Scorpio, but…I think I can do it..
However, I turn 21 in a week and a day…so I have no reason to rush at all.
So the basic update.. I am content. Somewhat happy. But mostly content.
