Considering I was kicked out of one course to due to bullshit so now I have and an empty notebook and this professor is worthless, I am going to use this notebook as a point of reflection. His lectures don’t really tie into anything. As long as I do my readings, the only thing I am missing by ignoring his lectures is him telling everyone they are wrong while remaining unable to explain what is right.
But is there ‘right’?
Looking at my paper, my original estimation was right. Anything that was anti-religion from a theological standpoint was met by his quick judgment and an overzealous desire to disagree, which ultimately affected my grade. An anthropological paper graded theologically. Awesome. I should have just said I was a Christian filled with God’s Holy Spirit or whatever ( the fact that Microsoft word automatically capitalizes holy and spirit when they are next to each other further solidifies that I am fighting an uphill battle).
This goes against my entire basis for why I signed up for the course. When I signed up for “Religions of the World” at a public college, I was not expecting “Religion: Why Christianity is Right and Everything Else is Wrong” taught by a considerably less articulate Jerry Falwell (however, it gives me some hope that Word’s spell check doesn’t recognize that). If I had wanted to go to Liberty, I could have gone and with a full ride. However, I probably would have to have been stoned all the time to the point of not caring or I would been stoned to death, which probably would have been less excruciating that this course…
I took a very interesting religion evaluation last week. Apparently, I am a hybrid of Neo Pagan, New Age , and Theravada Buddhism.
When examining what Wikipedia had to say, I found that honestly, minus the views on abortion and eating animals, I really am a Buddhist personally. I think that my failure to believe in those two issues shouldn’t prevent me from practicing Buddhism individually. However, I’d really like to dabble in the Neo Pagan rituals with others (Channing and Jackie? Any takers?)
This, however, does not in any way mean that I am seeking a definite religious structure to dictate my life. I am a very spiritual person. Like ridiculously so. Generally when I start a statement with, “I don’t mean to go all hippie on you, but…” or “Oh, well it’s a full moon. That explains EVERYTHING” , I could generally talk about what I am about to discuss with you for hours, with the spiritual discussion moving forward and tons of different directions. However, I can be guilty of worrying as to whether or not I will freak people out. And if any of you have paid attention to my Facebook religious statuses, you might have an idea as to why. I have also generally found myself preferring to listen and ask questions. I loved, loved, LOVED, listening to Channing talk about his religious experiences after we both took the quiz and in the days that followed. Human SPIRITUALITY fascinates me. However, RELIGION, as a vehicle to express human spirituality, has become so destructive, particularly Christianity. The irony is almost laughable.
When all religions were created, they were a form of spiritual expression. Man’s greed, hatred, bigotry, and hunger for power both inside and outside of the church have resulted in rites and rituals that are void of spiritual connection, or even worse forced spiritual connection. Your mom and dad are “saved”, the pastor is “saved”, all these people, half of which are strangers, are “saved”. The desires to be “saved” in such situations are going to be there.
But how many people do you really know and can honestly believe were saved by walking down a street, and just happened to see a leaf or a tree or something extraordinarily beautiful and went , “Yes! Jesus is the answer!”
Religion, it seems to me, requires some level of persuasion, however militant or passive. I find spirituality and salvation (Christian or otherwise) to be a very personal thing between man and universe (collective soul, God, Satan..) Why should man in any way dictate that for his fellow man?
Anyone who knows me well at all knows that I despise blind religious fanaticism and it was blatantly displayed in my religions class today. There was a girl (Pentecostal by religious affiliation and obviously drinking the punch) who made the comment that it was refreshing to hear that when we visited the Rabbinic Synagogue (Orthodox Jews, for those who don’t know what that means) , the rabbi told us their views on homosexuality matched many conservative religious views in the fact that it was not right. I was going to let that go until my professor uttered the words, “Yes, traditional religions typically share similar views on ‘those types’ “.
WHAT?
I then raised my hand and made the comment that since I, as one of ‘those types’, was making an effort to keep an open minded view on their religious views that perhaps they could be more politically correct, thoughtful, and less inflammatory in choice of language when referring to me and my type. As usual, everyone looked pretty shocked to discover I was in fact a homo (…we walk among you…) but little Miss Jesus in all of her ignorant glory seemed to want to take it a step further:
“Well, as a ho-mo-sex-ual (glad you found all the syllables, darling), why did you take a religions class when you knew that most of the religions were going to oppose your life choices (…::twitches::…) and that most people weren’t going to agree with your life choices?”
My response, which even made the devout Muslim, someone in clear opposition to my “life choices” chuckle:
“Well, why did you, as someone who is apparently so close mined in their every thought decide to grace us with your presence when you knew you would be learning about religions who’s practices where different from your own that would obviously view as wrong? Do I not share that same right to expand my mind, even though it is clear you aren’t making the effort to expand your own?”
This lead to an intense class discussion which the professor, who seemed slightly taken a back, eventually brought to a close.
This is why I struggle with Christianity. I sit in a class, what is supposed to a neutral environment, and when I express my sexual orientation, I am attacked on all sides. Attacked. I was supported by the two other liberals in the class, but even the professor is passing judgment with his eyes. Which is on some levels fine? I’m used to it, which disgusts me. This is me sitting in a Christian “tolerant” society. This is why we have to throw freaking pride parades. It’s not to make people like us more, or recognize that we are here, but so some people can enjoy some level of sanity and self acceptance.
But to be completely honest, I don’t want your Christ or your tolerance. I hate the word tolerance. FUCK your tolerance, go suck on your savior’s holy and divine cock if you think that I in any way am going to accept your tolerance. I won’t even tolerate your tolerance.
