so my life.
New job: Cheesecake Factory. I am currently selling gift cards and will be moving over to serving shortly. It’s very gay. And I’m not quite sure how to handle it. Cause 1. I’m very…not. and 2. I get hit on. a lot. and I strongly dislike it. I think I notice it more because…
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Who is positively divine. I love him. I can honestly say that I do. He makes everything that is bad go away. It’s so ridiculous. Like I worried about my getting over Justin, but then I did. And I was so worried about taking baggage from that into my new relationship, that my next boyfriend would always be paying for Justin and what happened with all of that.
Nope.
Channing is so wonderfully unique, and our relationship and love, and loving styles are unique that it’s be hard to really bring all of that in. Point 1. ..I can call my boyfriend ’dude’. It’s awesome.
I feel like we couldn’t have possibly found each other a better places. We both are somewhat jaded to men, and we both have been through a lot of similar issues with family and assault and friends etc. We are also both jumping off in new directions with our lives, that also don’t separate or bow out in different directions like my past boyfriends.
I feel so wonderfully virginal. That all of my past baggage and relationships are just that, past. It feels almost as if I am looking onto a past life even. I met Channing and so much of me just changed already. I had this desire to be a better person, not just for him, but for me.
Weird, because looking back in hindsight, I truly seemed to practically get off on my own masochism. The pot, the booze, God the booze, and all that entailed with that. I was tail-spinning, the scene that runs through my head is the scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre when the person is being pulled down into the basement and they dig their nails in, but even their nails peel off.
then I am introduced/put in contact with this man, and I go, and I walk out, and there he is. His beautiful eyes and smile, as he puts in his jewelry after his show, a Mary Washington hoodie, torn light blue jeans and flip flips. He immediately tries to make things less awkward with casual conversation and one of the prettiest, heart warming laughs I’ve ever heard. And my immediate thought was “God, this is gonna be so amazing.”
His hand fits perfectly in mine. We are the perfect height difference not only for kissing, but for putting arms around each others waists and shoulders. It’s Eire almost. And we can talk for hours and hours or comfortably enjoy silence. We don’t always agree, but God, we even disagree well.
Dare I say…perfect?
I do dare say I love him.
